Sunday, October 10, 2004 | 01:14 p.m. / Say Goodbye.

I've moved. This weblog is no longer in use.


Saturday, October 9, 2004 | 09:54 p.m. / I'll Give You Shelter From The Storm.

I've been thinking. I want to move. I'm sort of sick of Deletrius dot Pitas already, and I want something.. fresh and new. Besides, too many people are coming to know about this blog, and I don't know, I'd be happier if my visitors were people I care for.



So I'm moving. No, I'm not putting up the new link here. God knows when I'm gonna move anyway, because it's gonna take so much time, signing up for a new account, working on a new layout and all.



But in the meantime, Deletrius has not ceased to exist.. not until I say goodbye. (:


Saturday, October 9, 2004 | 02:54 p.m. / Your Game.

Somebody's getting a taste of his own medicine. I'm sorry to say this but PADAN MUKA.



Omg. Shalina should read this.



Somebody enlighten me, why is David Yeo out of Idol? I seriously think his performance Thursday was pretty good, at least better than Christopher, who looked really forced to sing. AND OHMYGOD WHAT IS JERRY STILL DOING IN THE COMPETITION?? Arggg I seriously think the voting system is stupid, as in, yeah it works for American Idol, but not Singapore Idol. Instead of voting people in they should vote people OUT. America is a huge country that's why the results make vast differences, but Singapore is just so small and I don't think there's much difference between the numbers so it's pretty inaccurate. Anyway, by voting people in, favouritism is sort of being practiced because all the Chinese girls are probably voting for a talentless idiot like Jerry and the real star, JESSEA, is already OUT!



Awww I heart Joy and Shy. (: Okay, got all our Prelim results back except for Higher Malay. Poor Cikgu Zain's been hospitalised! He had his appendix removed, aiyoo. Anyway, I um did pretty badly ): As in not as bad as before, there is this vast improvement, but just.. not good enough? Frankly? Of course I'm a little disappointed, everywhere I turn I hear people talking about their L1R5 and deciding which JC to go to for their first three months course. Sometimes it hurts so much that I feel like crying. I mean, I really tried hard, but my results are nowhere near satisfactory. Hmm but howell. (: For those who did really well, I'm really happy for you guys especially Raf, you do me proud! For others who are the same leaking boat as me.. let's try harder.



I guess the reason why I'm not heartbroken or very disappointed is because I think I sort of deserved this? I don't know, someone or something has to answer for the 2 years of folly right? I mean it would be pretty fairytale-ish if I had managed to pull off the Prelims with last minute studying.



I don't like my layout anymore. AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY THEN STAY AWAY.


Thursday, October 7, 2004 | 10:54 p.m. / Replace It With Happiness.

Okay I'm in the mood for multiple entries tonight. My brother's getting his black Mitsubishi Lancer next Thursday. "I can't wait, I can't wait," said Arthur. O_o then just now my brother was being a bit of an ass, cause it's good enough then my parents are paying for his car, but just now he insisted on modifications and my parents said no and .. and I don't know he sounded like he still hasn't grown up. Aiya but really la, he was just opposing my parents out of spite, his sense of territoriality was overwhelming I suppose. But uh a bit the spiteful.



Hahaa went home with Kak Nurul just now. I swear we are both idiots. She told me to hopped onto her train to Pasir Ris, but she exited upon my entrance as she hadn't seen me. Hahaha! I ended up taking the train to Pasir Ris, while she was stuck having to wait for the next train.



Forgive me but I have this large fetish for quotes, lyrics and excerpts these days, cause they're words I can relate to at the very moment. For example.



You said you didn't wanna see me get hurt... so did you close your eyes when I cried?


Thursday, October 7, 2004 | 10:22 p.m. / I See The Tears I Caused You To Cry.

Have been spending a lot of time studying at Tampines library, and many more days to come. (: Plan to go there everyday and stick to my revision schedule. Yayy one day done I feel accomplished. Anyway, am I that prominent that people can recognise who I am and message me on Friendster and say, "Oh hello, I think I saw you at the library on Friday." Uh like, wow either your memory is superb, or you just have no life and search for the people you see on Friendster. Heh, no offence laaa but seriously, of late I keep hearing, "Hey I saw you [insertplacehere] last [insertdatehere]." from people I don't even know!



Anyway, I'm up for a bitching session tonight. Ohmygod, Mrs Loke comma the Principal of TKGS comma is a total asswhore. Ohmy do you suppose she'll come across this blog? I'll just strike it off. I mean, you obviously have to give us moderation because like it or not, 75% of the damned cohort have to enter JC, otherwise she may be sacked as a Principal or MOE will be unhappy or Godknowswhat Mab told me just now. SOOOOO she's so taking advantage of the situation to bring in irrelevant issues like attire and behavior and whatever else. She made us sound like we were all scums of the society or something. [/edit] Furious. WHY GET WORKED UP OVER OUR STUPID BELTS?? You should have seen her talk. And omg Miss Lui ; another one siah. SHE MADE LIKE TWO THIRDS OF 4/4 GET LECTURED BY THE STUPID HEADMISTRESS.



Okay enough. Shut up. Just give the bloody moderation and get on with life la. WE ALL KNOW THERE WON'T BE MODERATION FOR O LEVELS THAT'S WHY WE CAN ASSURE YOU WE'LL WORK HARDER.



Now the year is almost over, nothing left to keep me sober. Suck it up. Where am I going now? Give me a reason that I should care anymore. Don't look now, cause it's a long way down. In to deep now, I'm bailing. I'm on my own. Hold on to what you do, when you find your own. It's over maybe forever. Time is running out, my days are spent.. and the clock continues ticking.


Wednesday, October 6, 2004 | 11:01 p.m. / Departing My Old Lifestyle.

Prelims have totally sucked so far, oh gosh. ): My L1R5 is so x > 20,before moderation. We haven't gotten A Math but I am hoping that somehow a miracle will happen and maybe, just maybe I will get an OKAY grade. Oh yeah, I was wondering whether we can use our O Level Malay grade AND our Prelims Higher Malay grade.. can? I mean, cause they're considered two different subjects right? Somebody show me the light, please. (:



I've not been a very happy girl. But that's okay. Thanks for the song, mate! (: Go do your Chem.



I feel bad for. XOX . Nuts. Peanuts.



25, no 24? days to O Levels.



Random lyrics;
I try to be patient, to see if you could figure out, with all of your lying and all your denying. I cannot keep you around. You know that I love you. It's gonna hurt me to see you leave. I can't go through being misused, cause you know that isn't me. Cool with whatever, cause it's been so long. All this nonsense you're doing, only made me strong. I don't think we'll be together, lest you change. Already stuck in your ways, you'll always be the same.


Wednesday, October 6, 2004 | 07:44 p.m. / Sand On My Feet.

False pretence, a lack of resonance, a derisive sentiment and confidence. These bonds were always fake, crafted for safety's sake, but pasted wings, and foil rings, do not an angel make. I see you left me with your last word. It's ringing, with the noteless shrill of jealousy, and the claims of imperfection, and the crying out for the things that you deserve, but your voice is never audible beneath the anger in your words. It's ringing. It's breaking me. You can't belittle this. This could change everything. This one is mine to believe, but the hottest words can cauterize, and in anger, there's just wasted time, so your last words, just another, I won't hear.


Tuesday, October 5, 2004 | 10:12 p.m. / Porkupine.

Psycho.



You can't fool me. Thank God I hadn't gone too far deep yet. Get a life, gosh.



My brother's esctatic.


Monday, October 4, 2004 | 09:23 a.m. / I SAID HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

Almost everybody tells me to stop believing.



Reality is that which refuses to go away when I stop believing in it.



Hello, since when did decent girls turn wild? And in the wrong way. -Ponders silently-



I don't know if you'll show up.


Sunday, October 3, 2004 | 09:40 p.m. / Look At The Stars, They Shine For You.

Get off the PC get off the PC get off the PC. Urggg I cannot help it, I forget to eat only when I'm on the PC. I skipped two meals today. No, not dibbly proud of myself but.



Start of a new school week. Please do not suck, please.



AND NO I AM NOT IN LOVE. OH JUST SHUT UP.



Anyway, just a couple of lines I thought of sharing. Mushroomies I'm thinking of you guys. Hope you're able to relate.



There you are holding her hand. I am lost. Dying to understand. Didn't I treat you right? Don't you know you were my life? Even though I try I can't let go. Something in your eyes captured my soul, and every night I see you in my dreams. You're all I know. I can't let go. Just cast aside. You don't even know I'm alive. You just walk on by. Don't care to see me cry, and here I am still holding on. I can't accept my world is gone. Do you even realise the sorrow I have inside everyday of my life. Do you know how it feels when all you have just dies? I try and try to deny that I need you, but yet you still remain on my mind..



It's either love or hate. I can't find in between. It wouldn't have worked out anyway. Further along we just may, but for now it's just another lonely day. Wish there was something I could say or do. I can resist anything, but the temptation from you, but I'd rather walk alone, than chase you around. I'd rather fall myself, than let you drag me on down. Yesterday seems like a life ago, because the one I love, today I hardly know. You, I held so close in my heart, oh dear. Grow further from me with every falling tear.



Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath, and I'm still standing here, and you're miles away, and there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight. I hear your name, and it always makes me smile. I spend my time thinking about you and it's almost driving me wild, and there's a heart that's breakin down this long distance line tonight. You don't know how desperate I've become, and it looks like I'm losing this fight. In your world, I have no meaning, though I'm trying hard to understand, but it's my heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight. If I can't bridge this distance. Stop this heart break overload..



Because you used to know the right things to say. Because you used to be there for me. Because you used to make me feel better about myself. Because you used to understand me. Because you used to give me things to look forward to. Because you used to make me laugh. Because I used to not know what I would do without you.


Sunday, October 3, 2004 | 03:27 p.m. / She's Stealing My Identity.

This is crazy. I don't even know if you're real. But this feeling is overwhelming. I'll have to ignore it. I have to ignore it.



So I heard my parents are getting my brother a car. Wahsey power sia. Just get driving license and your car comes along. He didn't even have to ask. Gosh. Don't get me wrong, heh I am happy for my brother, just gushing over how fortunate he is. (:



Khaliesah is great and I love her (: She just gave me another one of her JC Preaching Talks. I don't even have to go for those damned JC Talks. I mean what they say is probably one of the facade-putting-up-a-front thingies. Khalies just gave me an insight view to everything. Heh. But anyway, wah to the lan, thanks for the encouragement and advice. (:



And just when was the last time you had butterflies in your stomach? And know the next time that you wish upon a star, it might actually come true. (:


Sunday, October 3, 2004 | 01:35 p.m. / Am I Being Shallow?

This is such a wonderful feeling, too beautiful for me to put it down in words.


Saturday, October 2, 2004 | 11:49 p.m. / Ohmygod.

Semesterís coming soon So I would like to mention I woke up in my room Alone you always walk in Next week my mumís away So now my futures brightened Iíd ask to have you stay If I wasnít so frightened. I, Iím really falling for you I, hate what youíre putting me through What have you done to me now? I just canít sleep at night My bed is wet donít know how Will someone please turn on the light You showed up at my door Just like in a teen movie I said are you a whore? I beg to come and fuck me I guess she found it funny When I said ďhello honeyĒ The piercing in her belly They turned my legs to jelly I, Iím really falling for you I, hate what youíre putting me through What have you done to me now? I just canít sleep at night My bed is wet donít know how Will someone please turn on the light Taking over my life But I donít seem to mind And thereís no stopping you Taking me on a ride


Saturday, October 2, 2004 | 08:23 p.m. / Trying To Find The Magic.

Had a short but nice talk with Mab yesterday. (: Confided in her about some stuff, and she pretty much knocked some sense into my head, to the extent of making me laugh. Hahaha. Now this is one of the times that I don't hate you. Love you la.



I'm trying to plan my study timetable. But see, the thing is, I don't have the O Level timetable. Otay I'm going to scrutinize the MOE Website. The last time I did that was what, four years ago? And that was to compare Temasek Secondary School to Tanjong Katong Girls' School. Haha. To think that I transferred to TK from TMS. Heh mighty worthwhile decision. No offence to TMSians ah.



Okay Photobucket's being a total ass. Shall upload my pics elsewhere.


Friday, October 1, 2004 | 09:24 p.m. / Sometimes It's Easier To Be Somebody Else.

Is Photobucket down? Pictures not loading.



Got back E Maths results today. I got a C. Bummer. And that's just one subject. My careless mistakes were unbearable to look at. 12 + 5 = 7 Ya sure, even my primary 1 cousin can do that. Okay fine I don't have a primary 1 cousin, but you get what I mean.



Hope weekend turns out fine. Have lots of papers to work on. And much to stuff into this puny brain.


Thursday, September 30, 2004 | 07:29 p.m. / So I Fucked It Up, I Watched You Go.

Hello all, I'm fine. (: Hmm, I'm starting to think about some of my previous actions.. I know it's not good to regret but I can't help but feel remorsed over a couple of things I did.. Like letting you go.



Today I learned that some people are actually quite nice. You can't judge someone by his of her cover, or from what you hear. (: And it feels good to get rid of all the negative feeling which are actually superficial.



We, as in me and my dearies are booking a chalet. Supposed to get brother to book for me but I can't seem to uh contact him. Uh yes I know we live under the same roof but he's hardly, hardly ever at home, and I can't be bothered to call. Shall have to wait till the next time I see him. Sad, huh?



They say we're getting our Maths results tomorrow. They also said our class average is B4. They ALSO say that someone failed. Ohno please don't let it be me.



Okay, Idol today! I also happen to have tons of A Maths to do. Ackkk have to get back to mugging like hell. Just 56 days to go. Splendid.


Sunday, September 26, 2004 | 08:04 p.m. / So Hit Me Hard With A Wrench. I Can Take It.

I've never felt so helpless and stupid my whole life. I mean, what was I thinking? Thanks for the reality check anyway. It's all too late now. I don't believe I have much of a self-esteem left.



I'm destined to lose this battle.



Fuck. I need to escape.


Sunday, September 26, 2004 | 07:26 p.m. / I Love Hate You.

Deleted Post.


Sunday, September 26, 2004 | 02:51 p.m. / This Feeling Keeps Me Up All Night.

EXCLUSIVE SNIPSNIP UPDATE:



Oh yeah, yesterday I took a marvellous picture of Esther..'s ear. Heh.







Her ear stud looks like a RED CHICLET! So cute hahaa. Ow ow I was pulling her by the ear as I took that pic.







*Licks* The gorgous Mo. She was so willing to smile for the camera awww. (:



Okay, that's all the pics I have for now! Till my next snipsnip update hor.


Sunday, September 26, 2004 | 02:03 p.m. / I Know That You Know That I Know You. (:

Heheh I just watched Dodgeball again, but the vcd with my dad, sis and brother this time around. Heh ohh you know they censored a couple o'parts! Two scenes actually, one was okay I forgot but not so significant, but ANOTHER scene was when they won the tournament, and suddenly this woman comes down to congratulate Kate and they start frenching passionately! So Kate IS lesbian! Ahahaa eh but no, she's bisexual because after that she went on to kiss Peter. Heh.



Yeaaah but Dodgeball was wicked, honey! Lols, I mean I CANNOT get over White Goodman, or should I say, W-H-I-T Goodman. Trust Ben Stiller to act as a total asshole. But it was really funny. Blade, Laser, Blazer. Thank God I didn't watch One Missed Call (Death cannot be put on hold.)



Anyway, went out with Shy, Neem and Raf yesterday. Met Faizal for awhile to return him his papers. Watched Dodgeball @ town. The movie experience was good. Lols, I let out this extra LOUD laugh when everyone was silent. It was on purpose anyway. Hahaha. Oh yeah I lost my phone for about 3 minutes, and my wallet for 15 minutes. Mab joined us after the movie. Oh but she went home after that, so the four of us went over to Tampines to have dinner @ Pizza Hut. On the way there we were discussing ghosts, ghouls and the spiritual world. Neem got kinda scared, and so did I actually. Haha at Pizza Hut we were pretending to be ladies from the etiquette world and were all polite and manners and stuff.



Then Neem went off, Shy, Raf and I walked around TM. Raf got herself a Crumpler bag. Nice ah, but personally I prefer the bigger one. Eh but it's nice la. Shy bought a nice tee for twelve bucks but she started screaming at me after that when I mentioned the possibility of bargaining. Hmm was contemplating whether to buy * her * then. But decided against it. Oh ya then Raf went home, and Shy and I went to Watsons, White Sands for awhile.



Yeah so that was my day.


Friday, September 24, 2004 | 07:57 p.m. / <3

Falling For You. Busted.


Friday, September 24, 2004 | 05:05 p.m. / And It's Been Awhile Since I Said I'm Sorry.

OH YAAAA. 7 o'clock chinese show tonight damn exciting. Ah Zhi's gonna find out that Padatong is actually Ruixiang! Oh my god so exciting. But Padatong sucks man. As in ohmygod is he the thief slash conman of the century or something. Heh. And Da Ge, I forgot his name in the show, he should just give it a rest and realise that Ah Si's the real witch. And I hate Zhinan! She's such a dominating control freak, why can't she just leave 'An-An alone, sheesh. I heard there's a new 9 o'clock show. I wonder if I should uh start watching it, but it might get addictive. I heard from my sis yesterday that it's quite good.



Okay stop with the brainless entries already.


Friday, September 24, 2004 | 04:54 p.m. / So Full Of Faith, Yet So Full Of Doubt.

I got home about an hour ago. Physics Pract / Experiment One was baaaadd. Hmm after Mo and I got back our phones from Muzfirah (Sorry Mo! :P I hope you still love me heh.) Shy, Neem, Mab and I went to eat @ KFC Parkway. Please proceed to Shy's lj for details. (: This especially goes out to. Ya.



Then Shy came over for awhile to get Raf's A Cinderella Story DVD before going home. We ate ice cream cones at my house. Heh.



I wish to talk about something, but as you all know blogging here is so public, and I know of some people's very visits here so that makes it all a little unsafe. I don't wish to aggravate the situation by saying something stupid, so I suppose I'll just shut up.



Last paper tomorrow! Physics Paper 1 aka MCQ. Wahoo. After that I should be heading to town for a movie with my mates haahaaaa before Stage 3 of torture cell starts. Somehow I just get this feeling that there's something to look forward to but.. ? Hmm. My brother left for Bangkok this morning. Hope he'll have a safe trip. And hope Kak Nurul will live. I feel quite bad cause we were all watching a movie together last night, and I fell asleep on Kak Nurul's lap and so did everyone else. (As in falling asleep.) Ultimately she was the only one awake in the end, so poor thing. When she made some movement to get up I stirred and hugged her stomach. Huh. Lols.


Thursday, September 23, 2004 | 06:33 p.m. / Fly On By, Sweet Angel, And Forever I'll Be By Your Side.

Okay this is nice my parents got me two whole tubs of ice cream. (: Rather sweet, considering that they're kinda yelling their heads of at the furniture store people. Woa I saw my dad at his by far, angriest today.



This furniture store, I shan't mention the name here la, it's quite well known anyway. Yeah anyway, they were being total assholes. They delivered a sofa totally different from what my dad wanted the other day, and he just.. bellowed. So he told them, and they got it changed. Okay, correct set, but then the cushions were of the wrong colour. I could sense his fury already, so okay. Today they sent the cushions of the wrong dimensions, and they looked horrendous. As in, they didn't fit the seats and duhh obviously they did it wrong again sheesh.



I really, really felt for my parents. I mean, so infuriating right? Yeah so my dad was really yelling at the damn sales people, and this guy, 'An or something, had the cheek to be so rude and say it was my dad's fault and stuff.



I will never, ever forget my dad's expression at this point of time. He had the eyes of a murderer, an expression of a convict, someone destined to kill.. (Okay shut up.)



Yeah and the delivery people were so scared and I sort of laughed when my dad passed his cell to one of em to talk cause the guy's hand WAS TREMBLING! Lols. I was effing scared and just exchanged glances with my sister.



Hmm ya so my dad is still yelling, I'm wondering when the salesman or the fcking 'An would give it a rest. Gulp ok kaboom. "YOU DO IT WRONG AND WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT YOUR MISTAKE." Okay now even my Law-educated sister is snapping at the guy.



I want to kill 'An. What a stupid name.


Thursday, September 23, 2004 | 01:21 p.m. / Satisfaction Guranteed.

Finally! I spent the whole day yesterday looking for inspiration for my new layout, fooling around with Adobe, ending up with half ideas and then the whole morning today working on it. (: And now it's up, and I'm more than contented. *Gives a hearty laugh* Lols.



Lyrics from my latest song obssession, Look What You've Done by Jet, Image from Getty Image's image bank, and Adobe PS Ver 7.0 weeee~



So I just had Physics tuition and I HAD NO IDEA you could study for a Physics practical. In fact, there's quite a fair bit to study and I'm gonna start on em later in the afternoon. Hmm.



I want music. My Angelfire account got suspended because I breached the contract or something. Huh? I was reading through the terms and stuff, and apparently they were just being plain assholes. Sheesh.



SG Idol today what's it called, Unsung Heroes? Gonna be an interesting night, with Miss Nurul coming over, I have a feeling it's going to be a lonnnng night. Oh and apparently my brother's leaving for Bangkok tomorrow and nobody told me?



TALK TO ME

Ili. 16. TKGS. Pasir Ris, Singapore. <33 Pictures, stars and dreams.


WALK WITH ME 3sC 4, Khai Ain Amalina Amirah Amri, Khai Anas Avo Azee, Kak Bubz, Irah Charis Dee Diah, Kak Diana Dira Ellia, Kak Filz Han Hana, Kak Hilmi, Khairul Hoishan Hunn Iqah Irah Izzah Izan Jaja Jirah Joy Khalies Leandra Lily Lin, Kak Loko Mab Manda Mazzie Mel Mo Nad Nana Nemo Nina Noorie Nora Nurul, Kak Nzy Raf Rawther, Nad Rina Rury Shafik Shanti Shazila Sheena Shermin Shy Simone Siti Sophan Tracy Wanjie

SING FOR ME